Haunted
by Tsukishiro-chan
Summary: Inspired by the song by Taylor Swift. A story for CLAMP's most unfortunate character.


Haunted - Taylor Swift

Subaru - (X) Pre-Rainbow Bridge Incident

Subaru rested his head in his hands, his gloves, soft with wear, warmed his face which was cold from another winter's day spent searching for him. Seishirou was gone and would not be found. In his minds eye Subaru could still see the blood of his sister on his hands, his eyes cold and black, his back turned and walking away from everything that had happened between them, or that he thought had happened. Subaru choked as tears broke through his defences. He began to sob silently as he recalled the Seishirou he had thought he had known, cheerful and teasing, the memories which haunted his every moment. He begged for this pain to end, he begged for Seishirou to return, to finish what he had started when they had met for the very first time, he begged for freedom from his haunted thoughts.

As Kamui softly opened the door Subaru dashed away his tears, the liquid softly soaking into the material of his gloves. Kamui's soft pale hand rests itself on his shoulder, attempting to comfort a Subaru whose life has been torn apart, never be put back together. He turned to look at Kamui, whose blue eyes scorched him with their life and courage. His eyes showed determination, but as he blinked all Subaru could see was the unfeeling, evil eyes that he had seen on Seishirou's face as he had walked away. He turned away from Kamui, away from those who tried and failed to comfort him in his despair. He stepped outside, lighting up as he did. A wave of relief and fear passed through him simultaniously as a familiar hand plucked the cigarette from his mouth. A cruel smile twisted Seishirou's once cheerful features as he stared down at his favourite prey. Subaru stepped back, acknowledging the line that now existed tangibly between them, as opposite dragons they were destined to fight, no matter Subaru's feelings or hopes, Seishirou was his enemy, and enemy who killed his one and only sister.

Any hope for the return of the old Seishirou was destroyed as Subaru looked into his cold eyes. The eyes that would surely haunt him until he died.

They met on the bridge, Subaru held his breath as he once again searched for any warmth in his opponent's dark eyes, for any sign of the person he thought he'd known, but was met with disappointment. Subaru felt that this would be the day he would die, that this was the day his wish would be granted and he could be free of the haunting life he now lived. He wished he could just have this one wish granted, today.

Something was wrong, they had met in the middle, the final blow should have been struck, why was there no pain? Warmth flowed down Subaru's arm as he realised what had happened. He felt his soul be torn in two as Seishirou groaned and began to die before him, by Subaru's own hand. Subaru grapsed him tightly, his anguish climaxing into a wordless scream, everything he had hoped was gone, all he loved was destroyed, he was alone. He begged Seishirou not to go, to prayed for him to have the strength to stike him back, to slay him before he died so they may at least die together. His last words echoed through his brain, Subaru knew they were lies but clung to the single scrap of hope that they could be true. Tear streaked down his face as he felt himself become an empty shell, haunted by the echoes of what he had wished for and never received. He knew he couldn't return to Kamui, that he would have to find something else for his life, but as he held his love's body in his blood-soaked arms he couldn't think of a single thing to live for. His wish would never be granted, instead he would have to live with this pain and hope to die sooner than later. He stood and turned away from Seishirou's now cold body, briefly contemplating throwing himself off of the ruined bridge. But he could find no determinaion, no motivation to do anything but stand there and silently weep and wait for his next tribulation. Hitsuzen mocked him from the shadows of fate.  
>His life must have simply been a mistake.<p>

CLAMPCLAMPCLAMP

This one was a little tricky to put into words, Subaru's misery just can't be empathised with, so all I had was sympathy. Poor fellow. Anyway, if you liked this check out some of my other song inspired work, via profile would be easiest as they are broadly spread around the CLAMP fandom. GOod luck and thankyou!


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